A Love Letter for Valentine's Day

Today I went shopping for a girl named Valentine. Not just for her, but also for Hillary, Caren, and Dorcas. It was like Christmas when I came back home, dividing up who gets what. They are the last of my students to enter high school this year, unless I adopt another one or two in the next few weeks. The secondary schools have lists of supplies that the students are required to bring when they "report" for school. Entering secondary school can be a long process, depending on how well the students perform on the national exam at the end of primary school and which schools they select as their top choice a year before. Some who don't get invited will have to consider repeating Standard 8 (8th grade) or training in a vocational school.

It looks like we will have 55 of our children in high school or a vocational trade school this year. I'll write about them more another time. 15 have been new placements, so the last six weeks have been full of school preparations, standing in lines at banks to pay fees, buying books, finding the best price for supplies, and meeting guardians and children, talking about hopes and concerns and seeing excitement, eager anticipation, apprehension, uncertainty about the future and disappointment in their eyes.

I continue to be challenged by the work I have - particularly listening to people's stories and not having solutions for them. I like having the answers. I like making people happy. And here my work requires that I listen, hopefully with a kind (if linguistically challenged) ear and an open heart, to people's troubles that I cannot solve. For many, I know my response can be a disappointment, as they carry hope that someone from the outside will have something they lack. Sometimes I can be of assistance, but many times it is just listening and trying to be compassionate in my response.

Valentine's Day is popular here - many people were wearing red and shop windows are full of signs and cards. I was thinking of Valentines a bit early yesterday when I saw a photo of my family and felt so moved by the love I have for each of them, and then moving on to the thank you notes yet to write and knowing so much love from the people who support me.

As I struggle with my desire to change things and try to accept my limitations, I am comforted by Dorothy Day's words - The only solution is Love. And so I pray that I fall deeper into that Love that brought me here.

• To my family and friends - thank you for loving me.
• To someone dear to me who is exhausted and waiting for healing - I am praying you can rest in love.
• To all - may you know that you are loved.

With love,

Mary

Welcome Judy! Karibu Judy!

This month I had the pleasure to welcome a new Maryknoll Lay Missioner to Kenya. Her name is Judy and I already feel like I've learned much from her. She brings with her years of experience in nursing in rural Bangladesh and a deep spirituality. I've learned a few yoga stretches that I hope will continue to stretch me slowly both physically and spiritually into who I am called to be. Judy will be studying Swahili until April with another Maryknoll Lay Missioner, who arrives in early February from East Timor.

Mike, who had just arrived in Mombasa for a short visit this week, showed us new places in Old Town.

We treated Judy to a Swahili-style meal and learned about the traditional coffee pot, which was carried from place to place with hot coals burning underneath.
The tour had its sobering aspect, visiting a site used in the slave trade.
To top of the weekend, we met friends of Susan from her time in Sudan and I really enjoyed a long walk on the beach.
This month I attended the Maryknoll Society (the Fathers & Brothers) Africa Regional Meeting in Nairobi. I'm kneeling in front, third from the right. It was an honor to be there with these guys who have dedicated their lives to serving others. This year marks 100 years of mission for the Maryknoll Society
This meeting with the Fathers & Brothers was a good chance for me to make a few new friends and deepen ties with those I already knew.

And for those who have seen many foot shots and participated in them over the years ...

In Swahili, the word used for welcoming someone at the airport is kumpokea - or to receive them. Receiving Judy into our community last week reminds me of how much a gift it is that we are and can be to one another.

Welcome everyone!

Christmas 2010

A Christmas Camel

This Christmas was different than any other. It's quite warm this time of year in Mombasa. Even with the coconut tree swaying outside the kitchen, Christmas seemed a bit more real as we made cookies and prepared plates of treats for friends and neighbors. The spirit of the holiday was present as I entered the Cathedral grounds for the midnight Mass, with music playing, lights strung high above and people visiting outside the church before the celebration. The impressions I will remember from this celebration include: mothers dancing, the choir singing, the drumbeats resonating, the metalic decorations swaying with the electric fans, irridescent sequins sparkling on the fabric draped throughout the church, and a light shining through a paper star when the baby Jesus was put in the manager.

Although most of the celebration was in Swahili, one message I understood. God came to us in a simple place to be with us wherever we are. The bishop spoke of how dirty a place the manger would be. I realized I had sanitized the manger in my mind, so that lowly and humble seemed pure and clean – not messy and complicated like our lives tend to be. I heard how God came to be among us, even in the slums of Mombasa, in the dirt and dust of animals and spaces too small for the inhabitants. It has been a blessing to be here. Not always easy or straight-forward, but a blessing.

Photo Memories from December:

The month started with World AIDS Day - and my first trip to Taveta, inland & near the Tanzania Border. The bus trip had a few adventures ... including the resourcefulness of the driver, cutting a rope with two rocks to tie an exhaust pipe together to get us on the road again!

Photo op during the bus break-down. My roommate Susan is the one in the middle.

Chasing the bus after the driver got it running again
Julius & Kevin pushing us ahead ... just kidding. Totally posed.
Back on the road again
Other road warriors are donkeys. I was impressed this guy seemed to know where he was going by himself. He also reminded me of the Christmas story as I don't see too many donkeys in Mombasa town.
A common Kenyan sight - the unique baobob tree that has a huge hollow trunk.
Upon our arrival at the festival (a few hours late), we heard various performances about preventing the spread of HIV. This group had impressive harmony.
This little girl came up to me to chat while we were listening, then took my hand and followed us as we walked around town. I think she wanted to go home with us, but she would be missed. Many people in town greeted her on our walk.
Interesting sights on the way back home ...
December also brought a workshop for the AIDS Orphans I serve. We had a favorite dish for lunch - pilau.
One of our team-building & problem solving activities during the workshop

December brought another gift - of a rooster for Susan. Unlike my rooster Zanzibar, who I kept as a pet in Uganda, this one found his way into a feast for Susan's birthday.I love birthdays! I had an adventure making angel food cupcakes from scratch. Next time I'll know so much more, it won't take 4 hours...
I spent Christmas eve with my colleagues from the Community Based Health Care center, which serves people affected with HIV/AIDS. We had to figure out how to get across a crocodile & shark infested river with 4 crates. My team all got eaten. This was the beach where I saw the Christmas camel. He's there almost every day for tourists to ride, but it being Christmas and all ....
You can see who didn't get the memo about which shirt to wear....
Our Christmas tree
We had a feast with three great guys from Ireland, part of the Kiltegans.
Lucy, who cooked for us, & I were the only ones who wore our Christmas crowns!

Wishing you an incredible new year!
Mary

Oh the places you'll go, the stories you'll hear

Tonight I was reminded of a Dr Seuss book about "the places you'll go". I have been spending a lot of time with the AIDS orphans this month. It's been busy, but good. I am trying to get to know them better and learn about their aspirations - their hopes and dreams for the future. Part of this effort was a Career Day that we held with the Marianist Development Project, which offers vocational courses to young people at a reasonable price.

Today was my last "office day" before Christmas. The next two days I'll be paying school fees and buying books and school supplies. I spent the day visiting with a number of the children and guardians and even a few new people looking for last minute assistance before the new school year starts on January 3rd. So the book I would write from today would be called "Oh the stories you'll hear ... "

The missioner who led this project before me told me that it is a ministry of listening. Sometimes all I can offer is an encouraging word and prayers for a way forward for them.
Some of today's stories:

• A mother of four now caring for three more of her siblings children, one just 3 yrs old and HIV+
• Parents who died not just of AIDS, but of poverty since they couldn't buy enough food or make it to the clinic.
• A young man who watched his sister die last week.
• Another boy who is struggling to pay his way through high school and worried about his mother who traveled three weeks ago to get his birth certificate from their home area and hasn't yet come home
• A girl who loves biology but isn't doing well and was having a hard time putting words around her struggles.
• Another boy who, since his mother's death, stays with a elderly step-father who is partially paralyzed and spends his days begging by the side of the road.
• A boy who has to transfer to another high school due to lack of funds for boarding school and says that he doesn't mind since he'll reduce the financial burden on his sister.
• Another who has great passion for cooking and wants to be a caterer so badly - but if he's missed the deadline to start a course this year, will take any other course so he can find work.
• A student whose dream it is to be a television broadcaster with grades that could take him far.
• A young girl who's top of her class in a competitive high school and dreams of being a lawyer.

The days have been hectic and the stories many. I have to leave these young people in the hands of others and in my prayers. This season is a time of many memories of the stories of my own life and the story of a baby born so long along who changed the world. It is a time of hope - hope in a love so much bigger than us which has, can and will continue to change us, to draw us deeper in love. May this love change your world this Christmas.

Career Day - Dec 9th

Dreaming and drawing about our future ... to be an artist, a tour leader, a pilot


I'm pondering how we can start a successful local greeting card business while Neema is planning to become an international doctor.

John from the Marianist Development Project shows the students who've just finished 8th grade some of the Metalwork equipment.

We brainstormed a bit about careers.

Hoping for a bright future ...

One of our success stories - top in her class in two subjects

Some of our guardians literally making a joyful noise (singing in Swahili) at our guardians' meeting last week.

The time of advent is coming to a close. Here represented by four candles - four weeks of anticipation for Christmas. For us it is a reminder of our interconnectedness, with evergreen from our Muslim neighbors and a native tray woven in Kenya and given by dear friends.

Hoping this is a sacred time for you and your loved ones!
Mary

Thanksgiving - Ushukuru

This year has brought many changes for me - moving to a new country, learning a new language, and relocating to a new home are the big ones. I spent this Thanksgiving with the seven other Maryknoll Lay Missioners in Kenya.

John led a morning of reflection which was really helpful for me. We spent time reflecting on the challenges and then on the accomplishments and moments of joy in 2010. I know some of you will appreciate my list. First - the challenges:

• Feeling insecure, unsure of direction and competence
• Missing people
• Building new relationships
• It's HOT! Adjusting to a new place
• Not understanding conversations going on around me
• Not understanding conversations I'm involved in
• Not meeting my own expectations
• Understanding complex situations and people's realities
• The disparity between the rich and the poor
• Quieting myself
• ANTS

When we were reflecting on our challenges, another person mentioned seeing challenges as the art of the possible. I realized at the end of this discussion that I need to stop trying so hard. Easier said than done.

Accomplishments and moments of joy ... hopefully you can guess which are which:

• Sunrises
• Colorful lizards jumping up and down our outdoor stairs
• "Mungu Yupo" - God is here.
• Being able to sing along in Swahili, even if only for the refrain
• Making people laugh
• Peacefulness, when it comes
• the breeze
• Seashells and sand
• Driving (definitely an accomplishment, not a joy)
• Forgiveness
• Honesty
• Feeling deeply
• Meeting people at home, where they are at
• the drums beating at Mass, the rhythm reverberating within
• New relationships with my co-workers
• Persistence in continuing to try in Swahili (they say it will get easier?)
• Letting go
• Basil (the only plant still surviving from my "long rains" garden)

Here's a few moments in November that I'm thankful for ...
Sunrise at Mombasa Beach Hotel - I was invited there for a three-day meeting on Governance and Board Capacity Building. It was much more interesting than the title sounds ... and a real blessing to fall asleep and wake up to the ocean.

Friends! We were able to see Sr Genie who was in our Orientation Class last year. Cindy and John have been my family here in Kenya and I am grateful for every moment with them.


Being able to make my mom's bran muffins. A taste of home.

The "short rains" garden on the stairs ... and thanks to Julie sending me 3M non-slip tape, I hope not to fall down these stairs for the third time!

Watching the sunrise from my roof


Walking on the beach with new friends and colleagues

Rain, the waves, and watching the ships come in and out of the port.

The long-awaited driver's license ... 7 months after I applied. The temporary paper one worked in between. I am still asking people to "pray me home" when out driving. Its' a jungle out there on the main streets of town.


Our Maryknoll community in Kenya

Finally, I give thanks for all of you who are staying in touch, remembering me in your thoughts and prayers, or continuing to love and support me in spite of the distance.

With much gratitude,
Mary

Mitihani - Exams!

This week is the week of exams for students across Kenya. Two groups of children are taking their exams: Std 8 (8th grade) and Form 4 (Seniors in High School)

The Form 4 students are finishing up three weeks of testing on all their subjects this week. The combined and subject scores will determine whether they can 1) get to go to the university and 2) which subject they can study - too low or too high can disqualify you for your subject of choice. If you are over-qualified, the Joint Application Board for the Kenyan universities will suggest a different line of study for you. Unless you have money to pay extra (which the children we are supporting don't), you have to take the course you are invited to. We have six students taking their KCSE.

Please remember them and send your best wishes for their future our way:
Benson
Collins
Mirriam
Mwanzara
Dennis
Victor

Standard 8 students are taking the KCPE exam Tues to Fri this week. The overall score they get will determine if they can continue on to secondary school (high school) and which school they can attend. Thus, this is a time of great stress and importance for them. We have thirteen children taking the exam this week. Please pray for them:
Ali
Boniface
Bonaventure
Caren
Emmanuel
Gift
Joseph
Joyce
Lucas
Mwangangi
Neema
Stephen
Valentine

Next week I am meeting with the board of my project. We will be looking at finances, governance of the project, and selecting which new students we will support next year. We have had over 40 requests for assistance. Based on our finances, I am hoping we might be able to help half of them, but it might be more like one third. I realized this past week I need to not take myself so seriously, as I've been stressed about trying to get the most information for us to make the best decisions.

It seems as though each day I'm working out a puzzle. Sometimes new pieces appear, others become more clear, and sometimes I realize I've been putting them in the wrong places and that the puzzle is much more complicated than I thought.

The solution seems that it might not be solving the puzzle. What I keep running into is the word compassion. Dorothy Day said "The only solution is Love." Sr. Joyce Rupp wrote in the daily reflections I've been reading that her life goal is to be a compassionate presence in the world.

May we all be more compassionate.

Home Visits - Kuwatembelea watu nyumbani

These past few weeks I've been doing many home visits.

We are preparing for our annual board meeting where we will discuss how many new children we can assist next year. We already have 44 new families looking for assistance - most of them for secondary school, as that is when school becomes out of reach for many. The average we've paid for a student to enter a public high school this year was almost $200, including school fees, uniform, and basic reference books. Most of our clients live in simple mud homes or are struggling to pay rent of $10 to $20 per month and put food on the table.

Since many things are still new to me, including this process, I am struggling to get as much information as I can to help the board in what will be a very challenging discussion - which ones we will be able to support, and which we will put on a waiting list until we get additional funds, and which ones we believe can manage without our support.

This visits give me much to think about - from the conversations about shared responsibility, the hope of not giving false impressions or making promises that cannot be kept, attempting to understand the situation, the struggle to find the right words in Swahili and not to forget to ask one of the many questions I have.

The larger HIV-support program I work with, CBHC, Community Based Health Care, had visitors this past week from a donor organization. As I was working with the social workers who accompany me on the home visits, I was surprised and disappointed by the arrogance and unprofessional behavior I saw from the visitors. It made me wonder how I can be a better guest when I visit people in their homes.

I didn't have anyone come trick-or-treating this Halloween, since it isn't celebrated here. In honor of the festivities back home, I thought I'd post my first recipe from Mombasa. Sorry it doesn't include chocolate. Cashew nuts are grown here along the coast of Kenya.

Cashew Nutty Green Beans by Mary

Ingredients

fresh green beans, 1-2 cups, cleaned, ends trimmed

fresh ginger, about ½ inch square after peeled

onions, 2 medium size or 1 large

sherry or red wine, if you have it, 1 Tbsp

soy sauce, 2 Tbsp

sugar, 1 tsp

oil, 2 Tbsp

water

unsalted cashew nuts, 1/3 cup or more if you like them

honey, about one big spoonful

Directions

1. Clean the green beans so they are ready to go.

2. Chop the onions into thin rings or small pieces.

3. Chop the ginger into small pieces. If you have a garlic press, you can use it, too.

4. Heat the oil in a frying pan, add the onions, and stir. After a few minutes, add the ginger.

5. Mix the soy sauce, sherry/wine, and sugar in a bowl.

6. Add the green beans to the onions and saute. After a couple minutes, add the soy sauce mixture.

7. If the onions, etc, seem to be sticking to the pan, add a little water and cover to allow the green beans to get to desired texture. I like them a little crunchy.

8. In a separate pan, heat the cashew nuts until they start to brown. No oil is needed, but keep stirring them or shaking the pan. Add the honey to cover the nuts and continue to stir until they are well-covered.

9. Add the cashew nuts to the beans and serve.

Enjoy a piece of Halloween candy for me!