To brighten the day

Sometimes things aren't so easy for a whole number of reasons.

Today I asked one of the kids who is HIV+ what helps her when she is down and this is what she said...

• Talking to someone, particularly someone who can give her advice
• Praying
• Doing things that makes her feel like everyone else, so she doesn't feel like she's different because of her disease

I'm in a Small Christian Community at my church, which is like a faith sharing group in the US. Here it's called a Jumuiya in Swahili. We usually meet for an hour on Monday nights with prayer, songs and reflection on a short Scripture reading. It's been good for me to connect with people outside of my work & challenges me to keep trying to learn more Swahili since the meeting is 95% in Swahili, even though all the members are at least bilingual, usually trilingual (Swahili, English and their mother-tongue, typically another local language). Last night instead of our regular meeting, we went to someone's home to comfort her since she lost her first and only child the day before. Sometimes being here is humbling.

So tonight I'm thinking of things that help me lighten the load when the situations I am trying to navigate or the stories I hear get too heavy to carry.

• Morning prayer in silence with the crows and birds outside
• Seeing things anew
• Cinnamon in my coffee
• Seedlings breaking forth in my mini-nursery
• Laughing
• Cooking
• Talking with friends and family from home
• A delightful email from someone I haven't heard from in a while
• One of the kids succeeding at school
• Guardians who manage to smile in spite of the struggle
• Someone understanding
• A good book (escapism i know!)
• Ripe avocado or mango
• Dark chocolate
• The multicolor lizards doing push-ups on the steps to our house
• The smell and sound of rain
• A cool breeze
  

Last week I helped with a Mission Symposium put on by the Maryknoll Fathers. It was really great to connect with others in this new family of mine!

I've been visiting schools to check on the progress of our students who are completing Std 8 this year. Here I am with Leah and Halima.

Today I was visited by Obama! This little guy was born the year President Obama was elected. I told him that he might be presidential material too...

A few faces that brighten my day...




Okay this one wasn't so much to brighten, more like frighten and enthrall at the same time. He was the uninvited guest to a dinner party last week.

Giving and Forgiving

It's Lent, the season of preparation for Easter. For many Catholics, it means giving up something special or trying to do something extra to bring our faith more in focus during the 40 days before Easter.

I decided to give up coffee, an indulgence in my day - and relatively easy to do - and spend extra time in reflection and prayer - not so easy for me to do. Even as the number of students and new requests for assistance that come to my office are fewer, I still find my time occupied with many things and my mind preoccupied.

I've been following a blog of a former campus minister, John Donaghy, that's been helpful for me this Lent: Walk the Way and there are two reflections I'd like to share. The first was from a week or so ago:

Do not condemn,
and you will not be condemned.
Luke 6: 36-38

It is so easy to condemn others and to demonize whose who oppose us. But the message of Christ is different. As the Russian novelist Aleksander Solzhenitsyn wrote in his classic novel, The Gulag Archipelago:

If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of their own heart? During the life of any heart this line keeps changing place; sometimes it is squeezed one way by exuberant evil and sometimes it shifts to allow enough space for good to flourish. One and the same human being is, at various ages, under various circumstances, a totally different human being.

These words have been helpful in the daily struggles to do what's right and to try to interrupt life around me. Yesterday's reflection he shared from Henri Nouwen:

Do I truly want to be so totally forgiven that a completely new way of living becomes possible?… Do I want to break away from my deep-rooted rebellion against God and surrender myself so absolutely to God’s love that a new person can emerge. Receiving forgiveness requires a total willingness to let God be God and do all the healing, restoring , and renewing.

Henri Nouwen, The Return of the Prodigal Son

Tomorrow I am to give a short presentation on Lent to my small Christian Community (called Jumuiya in Swahili) that meets each week. I realized today that I'm going to talk about giving and forgiving, knowing well how I need to forgive myself for not being or doing all that I'd hoped and ask God to make something new.

A couple photos from March...

John O'Donoghue is a Maryknoll Lay Missioner who has just transferred from East Timor and came for a visit in Mombasa last weekend. He arrived just in time for the local St. Patrick's Day party and one of his many Mombasa adventures was meeting with the Amkeni (Wake up) Support group for people living with HIV.

After talking to them about their lives and aspirations, they gave him a clap. Here claps can be very organized and fun. Usually there's someone that leads the clap and starts with demonstrating which clap they will be leading. John was given the big soda clap, where the 2-L bottle lid is twisted and twisted and twisted until finally it pops open with a BIG CLAP!

And one of my Irish friends at the St Patrick's Day party, Fr Peter. He and I went to an amazing concert under the stars the week before - it had a local Italian restaurant owner that sang to move mountains and hearts, a Kenyan opera singer and another performer who played the soprano sax.

Happy Lent everyone!

The way forward - Njia mbele

Often times I've been talking to people about kutafuta njia mbele - searching for the way forward. It's not always clear, but today clarity came in another form. The value of human dignity was crystal clear today, as I was reminded by a boy named Pius.

I have been touched by people living with disabilities in various ways before. In Los Angeles, there was a guy named Norm who lived across the street from me who very kindly offered to walk me home when we were crossing the street together. He was living in a group home and was really proud to show his other friends that we knew each other on subsequent times we'd see each other.

Last month I met the newest member of our Maryknoll Lay Missioners group in Kenya, who last worked at a shop where people with disabilities made equipment for others with disabilities. And last weekend, I was visiting with the brother of a friend who happens to be deaf. He and his friend gave me a "sign-name," which is taking your right hand and making the sign for M and then running it along your hairline from front to back, indicating my long hair. Our communication was entertaining for all - from my one semester community course in American Sign Language, I could at least provide some laughs.

And today, I entered my office to find a young boy sitting on the floor next to his mother, who had come seeking help. He fell sick within the first few days of his life and has not had good control of his muscles in the 16 years since. I'm not sure of his diagnosis, but was really moved by his spirit. He's not able to say much, but I was told that his mind wasn't affected and it was clear he understood what we were saying. His mother and I struggled to understand each other (in Swahili) and find the way forward. I know we will find a way for him to go to school. From what I could see, he's bright, but has never had a chance to go to school - perhaps from a combination of lack of funds for transportation, lack of influence, lack of knowledge of resources available, poverty and disease.

Pius showing us how he can hold a pen to write.

We'll find a way. It will take time and might not be as straight-forward or clear, but what is clear to me is how special this life is. A spirit unbroken after many years of trial and tribulation.

Tomorrow starts the season of Lent, the 40 days before Easter, a time of prayer and conversion. I am committing myself to more time in reflection and hope to share more in these weeks.

May we all keep our spirits strong in spite of the challenges we face.
Mary

A Love Letter for Valentine's Day

Today I went shopping for a girl named Valentine. Not just for her, but also for Hillary, Caren, and Dorcas. It was like Christmas when I came back home, dividing up who gets what. They are the last of my students to enter high school this year, unless I adopt another one or two in the next few weeks. The secondary schools have lists of supplies that the students are required to bring when they "report" for school. Entering secondary school can be a long process, depending on how well the students perform on the national exam at the end of primary school and which schools they select as their top choice a year before. Some who don't get invited will have to consider repeating Standard 8 (8th grade) or training in a vocational school.

It looks like we will have 55 of our children in high school or a vocational trade school this year. I'll write about them more another time. 15 have been new placements, so the last six weeks have been full of school preparations, standing in lines at banks to pay fees, buying books, finding the best price for supplies, and meeting guardians and children, talking about hopes and concerns and seeing excitement, eager anticipation, apprehension, uncertainty about the future and disappointment in their eyes.

I continue to be challenged by the work I have - particularly listening to people's stories and not having solutions for them. I like having the answers. I like making people happy. And here my work requires that I listen, hopefully with a kind (if linguistically challenged) ear and an open heart, to people's troubles that I cannot solve. For many, I know my response can be a disappointment, as they carry hope that someone from the outside will have something they lack. Sometimes I can be of assistance, but many times it is just listening and trying to be compassionate in my response.

Valentine's Day is popular here - many people were wearing red and shop windows are full of signs and cards. I was thinking of Valentines a bit early yesterday when I saw a photo of my family and felt so moved by the love I have for each of them, and then moving on to the thank you notes yet to write and knowing so much love from the people who support me.

As I struggle with my desire to change things and try to accept my limitations, I am comforted by Dorothy Day's words - The only solution is Love. And so I pray that I fall deeper into that Love that brought me here.

• To my family and friends - thank you for loving me.
• To someone dear to me who is exhausted and waiting for healing - I am praying you can rest in love.
• To all - may you know that you are loved.

With love,

Mary

Welcome Judy! Karibu Judy!

This month I had the pleasure to welcome a new Maryknoll Lay Missioner to Kenya. Her name is Judy and I already feel like I've learned much from her. She brings with her years of experience in nursing in rural Bangladesh and a deep spirituality. I've learned a few yoga stretches that I hope will continue to stretch me slowly both physically and spiritually into who I am called to be. Judy will be studying Swahili until April with another Maryknoll Lay Missioner, who arrives in early February from East Timor.

Mike, who had just arrived in Mombasa for a short visit this week, showed us new places in Old Town.

We treated Judy to a Swahili-style meal and learned about the traditional coffee pot, which was carried from place to place with hot coals burning underneath.
The tour had its sobering aspect, visiting a site used in the slave trade.
To top of the weekend, we met friends of Susan from her time in Sudan and I really enjoyed a long walk on the beach.
This month I attended the Maryknoll Society (the Fathers & Brothers) Africa Regional Meeting in Nairobi. I'm kneeling in front, third from the right. It was an honor to be there with these guys who have dedicated their lives to serving others. This year marks 100 years of mission for the Maryknoll Society
This meeting with the Fathers & Brothers was a good chance for me to make a few new friends and deepen ties with those I already knew.

And for those who have seen many foot shots and participated in them over the years ...

In Swahili, the word used for welcoming someone at the airport is kumpokea - or to receive them. Receiving Judy into our community last week reminds me of how much a gift it is that we are and can be to one another.

Welcome everyone!

Christmas 2010

A Christmas Camel

This Christmas was different than any other. It's quite warm this time of year in Mombasa. Even with the coconut tree swaying outside the kitchen, Christmas seemed a bit more real as we made cookies and prepared plates of treats for friends and neighbors. The spirit of the holiday was present as I entered the Cathedral grounds for the midnight Mass, with music playing, lights strung high above and people visiting outside the church before the celebration. The impressions I will remember from this celebration include: mothers dancing, the choir singing, the drumbeats resonating, the metalic decorations swaying with the electric fans, irridescent sequins sparkling on the fabric draped throughout the church, and a light shining through a paper star when the baby Jesus was put in the manager.

Although most of the celebration was in Swahili, one message I understood. God came to us in a simple place to be with us wherever we are. The bishop spoke of how dirty a place the manger would be. I realized I had sanitized the manger in my mind, so that lowly and humble seemed pure and clean – not messy and complicated like our lives tend to be. I heard how God came to be among us, even in the slums of Mombasa, in the dirt and dust of animals and spaces too small for the inhabitants. It has been a blessing to be here. Not always easy or straight-forward, but a blessing.

Photo Memories from December:

The month started with World AIDS Day - and my first trip to Taveta, inland & near the Tanzania Border. The bus trip had a few adventures ... including the resourcefulness of the driver, cutting a rope with two rocks to tie an exhaust pipe together to get us on the road again!

Photo op during the bus break-down. My roommate Susan is the one in the middle.

Chasing the bus after the driver got it running again
Julius & Kevin pushing us ahead ... just kidding. Totally posed.
Back on the road again
Other road warriors are donkeys. I was impressed this guy seemed to know where he was going by himself. He also reminded me of the Christmas story as I don't see too many donkeys in Mombasa town.
A common Kenyan sight - the unique baobob tree that has a huge hollow trunk.
Upon our arrival at the festival (a few hours late), we heard various performances about preventing the spread of HIV. This group had impressive harmony.
This little girl came up to me to chat while we were listening, then took my hand and followed us as we walked around town. I think she wanted to go home with us, but she would be missed. Many people in town greeted her on our walk.
Interesting sights on the way back home ...
December also brought a workshop for the AIDS Orphans I serve. We had a favorite dish for lunch - pilau.
One of our team-building & problem solving activities during the workshop

December brought another gift - of a rooster for Susan. Unlike my rooster Zanzibar, who I kept as a pet in Uganda, this one found his way into a feast for Susan's birthday.I love birthdays! I had an adventure making angel food cupcakes from scratch. Next time I'll know so much more, it won't take 4 hours...
I spent Christmas eve with my colleagues from the Community Based Health Care center, which serves people affected with HIV/AIDS. We had to figure out how to get across a crocodile & shark infested river with 4 crates. My team all got eaten. This was the beach where I saw the Christmas camel. He's there almost every day for tourists to ride, but it being Christmas and all ....
You can see who didn't get the memo about which shirt to wear....
Our Christmas tree
We had a feast with three great guys from Ireland, part of the Kiltegans.
Lucy, who cooked for us, & I were the only ones who wore our Christmas crowns!

Wishing you an incredible new year!
Mary

Oh the places you'll go, the stories you'll hear

Tonight I was reminded of a Dr Seuss book about "the places you'll go". I have been spending a lot of time with the AIDS orphans this month. It's been busy, but good. I am trying to get to know them better and learn about their aspirations - their hopes and dreams for the future. Part of this effort was a Career Day that we held with the Marianist Development Project, which offers vocational courses to young people at a reasonable price.

Today was my last "office day" before Christmas. The next two days I'll be paying school fees and buying books and school supplies. I spent the day visiting with a number of the children and guardians and even a few new people looking for last minute assistance before the new school year starts on January 3rd. So the book I would write from today would be called "Oh the stories you'll hear ... "

The missioner who led this project before me told me that it is a ministry of listening. Sometimes all I can offer is an encouraging word and prayers for a way forward for them.
Some of today's stories:

• A mother of four now caring for three more of her siblings children, one just 3 yrs old and HIV+
• Parents who died not just of AIDS, but of poverty since they couldn't buy enough food or make it to the clinic.
• A young man who watched his sister die last week.
• Another boy who is struggling to pay his way through high school and worried about his mother who traveled three weeks ago to get his birth certificate from their home area and hasn't yet come home
• A girl who loves biology but isn't doing well and was having a hard time putting words around her struggles.
• Another boy who, since his mother's death, stays with a elderly step-father who is partially paralyzed and spends his days begging by the side of the road.
• A boy who has to transfer to another high school due to lack of funds for boarding school and says that he doesn't mind since he'll reduce the financial burden on his sister.
• Another who has great passion for cooking and wants to be a caterer so badly - but if he's missed the deadline to start a course this year, will take any other course so he can find work.
• A student whose dream it is to be a television broadcaster with grades that could take him far.
• A young girl who's top of her class in a competitive high school and dreams of being a lawyer.

The days have been hectic and the stories many. I have to leave these young people in the hands of others and in my prayers. This season is a time of many memories of the stories of my own life and the story of a baby born so long along who changed the world. It is a time of hope - hope in a love so much bigger than us which has, can and will continue to change us, to draw us deeper in love. May this love change your world this Christmas.

Career Day - Dec 9th

Dreaming and drawing about our future ... to be an artist, a tour leader, a pilot


I'm pondering how we can start a successful local greeting card business while Neema is planning to become an international doctor.

John from the Marianist Development Project shows the students who've just finished 8th grade some of the Metalwork equipment.

We brainstormed a bit about careers.

Hoping for a bright future ...

One of our success stories - top in her class in two subjects

Some of our guardians literally making a joyful noise (singing in Swahili) at our guardians' meeting last week.

The time of advent is coming to a close. Here represented by four candles - four weeks of anticipation for Christmas. For us it is a reminder of our interconnectedness, with evergreen from our Muslim neighbors and a native tray woven in Kenya and given by dear friends.

Hoping this is a sacred time for you and your loved ones!
Mary